To: Our Estranged Parents|From: Your Adult Children
Whether we cut ties with you or you cut ties with us, the experience was terrifying, agonizing, and devastating. We loved you. We desperately wanted to you to love us, to be proud of us, and be present in our lives. We grow up with friends who had present, loving parents; and it only serves to further drive our sense of loneliness and isolation. True, it’s not fair to compare families; but we don’t believe that’s what you’re ultimately upset with.
One of the many ways you underestimate us is your faliure to recognize our understanding of you. You mistakenly believe you’ve sold us on your narrative. This narrative that paints you the victim and the martyr, and us the villain and the prodigal. We want you to know now; we see you. We recognize your desire to protect your narrative at the expense of all else. We see you and your misguided belief that refusing to take responsibility for your choices and behavior makes you look strong and righteous when in reality; It’s makes you look like a coward and a fool. Courage and strength allow you to embrace your imperfections and perfectly imperfect self. Ego and low self esteem are counters to that freedom. Here’s the best kept OPEN SECRET: AS YOUR CHILDREN WE UNDERSTAND YOU ARE NOT PERFECT, AND WE LOVE YOU ANYWAY. WE ARE JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR A** AND TALK TO US LIKE NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS INSTEAD OF WORSHIPING YOUR EGO AND TAKING EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO BOLSTER YOURSELF TO A POINT YOU BELIEVE IS ABOVE US IN AN ATTEMPT TO FEEL A SENSE OF MORAL SUPERIORITY AND THE CREDIBILITY TO PONTIFICATE TO US ABOUT LIFE. Please stop with the insincerity and the militant ignorance and just own it. You’ll be shocked with the level of respect your honesty will generate from us.
You’re estranged/stonewalled children.